Dinner Conversation, Part the Second

Dad is in the kitchen prepping dinner (spaghetti in this case) and the rest of the family are tasked with setting the table.

Lily: Jake, I'm sitting there.

Jake: I AM!

L: You sit there and I'll sit here....

J: I want to sit by dad.

L: Me too....

J: It should be boy girl boy girl

L: It should be biggest to smallest...

J: You should sit at the head of the table...

L: No, dad should....

J: OK. Then I'll sit at....THE PENIS OF THE TABLE !

At this point "table setting" ceases and a discussion of what different section of a table should be called ensues:

butt
nose
bottom
penis (again)
face
ear
etc....

Dinner Conversation

After telling Jake and Lily about my day I said

"You know when I was your age I thought I was gonna grow up and be a paleontogist and go all over and look for fossils. Wonder what you guys are gonna do when you grow up"

Lily: I'm gonna be a farmer cuz I like chicks.
(INSERT OBVIOUS ONE LINER HERE)

Jake: I'm gonna make syrup !

Dad: I thought you were gonna be a pilot.

Jake: I am. A pilot who makes syrup.

"One hour before..."

Kim and I have become major addicts of the new Battlestar Galactica. We went through three and a half seasons of episodes in the last 6 months and email each other with plot predictions, philosophical questions, and wondering when we won't have to suffer through YET ANOTHER "does Starbuck love Apollo/Apollo love Starbuck" episode again.

One of their favorite devices is to end an episode or season with (duh) a cliffhanger. More than a few times you get to the end of an episode and there's been some INSANE plot twist in the last five minutes. Their favorite method of getting out of the tight spot is to begin the following episode with the briefest of recaps then a "ONE HOUR BEFORE" subtitle that shows you why everything you know is wrong.

So I'll try a little BSG-style non-linear narrative.

DINNER TABLE - PRESENT
Brad, at home drinking a glass of fine single malt scotch at the dining room table. He's lost in thought. A thin smile on his face, he shakes his head and has another sip. Kim is watching tv...

Kim: You're home early...

DOCTOR'S OFFICE - TWO MONTHS EARLIER
Doctor: So what brings you in today?
Brad: Well, I had my 40th birthday a few months ago..don't I have to do regular checkups and stuff?
Doc: Well, not really. Those usually start a little later - 50 usually for the prostate and colon exams...
Brad (THINKING): SWEET ! See you in ten years man !
Doc: We can run some regular blood tests...I see you could use a tetanus shot....been ten years....blood pressure seems fine....you get exercise?
Brad: Sure. I go surfing. Well, that's pretty much my only exercise...
Doc: Do you drink?
Brad: Yeah...
Doc: How much...one drink a week? Every day?
Brad: Pretty much everyday..usually two beers.
Doc (SIGNIFICANT LOOK): Hmmm...
Brad (THINKING): And maybe more on Friday or Saturday....I'll just keep that to myself. Was that a significant look he just gave me?

DINNER TABLE - PRESENT
Brad (THINKING): Well I'm drinking tonight. I'm celebrating...I don't care if it's Wednesday...

Brad: Remember last week? It was all rainy and cold and I had woken up after I'd had a dream that I been bitten by a shark...?

Kim: Yeah. And I told you you weren't allowed to surf. Yes.

Brad: And I didn't....well, today was perfect!

KITCHEN - FIVE DAYS EARLIER
Brad is making dinner for the kids. Open refrigerator and see at least five..six bottles of Newcastle Brown Ale. Mmmmmmmm.....
Brad (THINKING): You know what? No beer tonight. No alcohol for a week. Not as a diet, not as anything more than an experiment. Damn that doctor with his pregnant pauses....just see what it's like. Maybe I HAVE been drinking to much....well not like two beers is TOO much. Nevertheless - nothing for a week.

DINNER TABLE - PRESENT
Brad (THINKING): OK. Failed experiment. And everything was going so well...it was all so perfect.

Kim: So you didn't want to go hang out at Burke's house?

Brad: Nope. Wanted to come home.

WARD AVENUE NEAR KEWALO BASIN - TWO HOURS EARLIER
"Timed the lights perfectly! The museum to the parking lot in less than 15 minutes. Dave told me that the waves were great this morning and the onshore winds haven't materialized....There's gonna be such a crowd...No way I'm getting a parking spot."

Turn off of Ala Moana and into the harbor access road.

"I should just grab a spot here and take the walk...ahhh what the hell. See if I can get lucky. NO WAY. Not just any spot. The closest one! I haven't gotten to park here in years since people learned about this spot. COOL!"

The paddle out is heartening...glassy waves...barely a breath of wind. And good size waves. Looks like a summer style swell at least a month early. Short waits between sets. Five to ten foot faces. Plenty of waves in each set. ALRIGHT!

DINNER TABLE - PRESENT
"Man it's only just getting too dark to surf NOW. I should be paddling in now...instead here I am breaking my promise to myself. I should still be out there...." Another sip of whiskey. *SNORT* "Yeah, right"

KEWALO'S - STRAIGHT OUTS - ONE HOUR EARLIER <---See there it is !
"Cool. The crowd's thinning. I've still got nearly an hour left out here before it get's too dark to see. How many waves have I gotten? There was the was the one where I made that section..the one where the boogie boarder went right....the one where I caught the one after the guy with the purple board....the other one.."

Movement on my right and a splash. Stand up paddle surfer heads out past to get the first shot at the next big wave.

"Stand up paddling. God that looks weird. Must be tiring to always be stand....what the hell?"

Near the paddle surfer, black shapes slowly move across the face of a small waves.

"Plastic?"

The shapes move in synch. Slowly. Fifty feet away. Moving parallel to shore.

"Triangle..."

Shapes are not shapes. Shapes are parts. Parts of a whole.

DINNER TABLE - PRESENT
Kim: So how big?
Brad: You know I was thinking about that. I was thinking that surfers are probably good at estimating sizes in the water cuz we're always looking at 9' surfboards, 10' surfboards, 7' surfboards as we paddle around. You just know that even when you're fifty feet away, that one over there is a 9' longboard..."

KEWALO'S - 55 MINUTES AGO
"HOLY SHIT. That's a shark. That's a big shark. Dorsal to tail..at least 6-8 feet...that's means...like what? 9-12 feet...I'm getting the hell out of here."

The paddle in is unlike any I've ever had. The stand up guy is MOVING - getting inside as fast as he can.

Usually surfers arrive and leave spots in a slow dribble. Rarely is there a mass entrance or exodus. Today. Within 60 seconds two surf spots with glassy swell waves, formerly host of more than 30 people, riding and laughing, now has a population of one.

DINNER TABLE - PRESENT
"You know, that was the first shark that I ever saw surfing. That baby hammerhead from way back didn't count - he was actually kind of cute. This was scary...glad to be home safe and sound.....I'll drink to that."

Experiment over.

The dangers of googling your own name

Reminders of mortality

Spring Break 08

Had a great Spring Break.

Went to Kaua‘i where we attended a baby 1st lū‘au on a part of a 600 acre ranch and came back the next day for the paniolo style Easter Egg Hunt. Lotsa denim, barbed wire, ranch hands on atv's, and such.

We got a cabin up in Kōke‘e where the kids got a chance to do their first multi-mile hike and see some of the rare native birds. No new ones for my life list but over the course of ten days of hikes and camping on two islands the kids got off to a good start on theirs:

• ‘amakihi


• ‘elepaio


• ‘apapane


• pueo


• Laysan Albatross


• Wandering Tattler


• And, well, chickens...lots and lots of chickens..I mean Jungle Fowl

I got a chance to surf a windy Poipu while the kids explored tidal pools and looked for crabs. Kim and I went out one night up in the forest and saw the brightest satellite that I've ever seen. I was sure it had to be the International Space Station and when I got home I double checked. Here's a useful resource if you want to know which satellite that you saw the other night, or if you are planning a trip out to the country where you'll have a nice view of the sky, which ones might be visible for your trip. NASA's Skywatch Page.

Spent nights in the cabin playing Go Fish and teaching Jake The Awful Green Things From Outer Space Maybe too well since he pwned me - quick learner that guy.

By the end of the trip the kids asked if we could move to Kaua‘i, or failing that, go camping every weekend.

March 31

The last day of March brings to an end Lily and Jake's spring break - back to school time.

Had a great time with the little one's camping on the beach on O‘ahu and hiking in the mountains of Kaua‘i. Pictures and stories in the coming days.

Mostly just an excuse to wish everyone a Happy Rocking Angus Young Day.

16 years and 122,000 miles later

I gots me a new car

Jake's new obsession - Dino Duel

He's seriously into dinosaurs (not unlike his dad at his age) and when you add a video game into the mix....game over.

Here's the deal. Put in your cash (oh...so much more than just one quarter....sigh...so long ago) and get a magnetic swipable and so very collectible card from the machine with either a dinosaur or some modifier to a dinosaurs attribute(s).

Then play rock/paper/scissors with a video game.

Here's an example:


So every species has it's own strengths and weaknesses. Some can take a lot of damage, some hit hard, some get to use more modifier cards, etc.

Boring for anyone over 10 perhaps. Man, Jake loves it.

Most importantly it teaches valuable lessons about logic, math, and crucial concepts like hit points that will become oh so important when he starts playing REAL role playing games like that one with the funny dice.

On that note, RIP to Gary Gygax, inventor of Dungeons and Dragons. Thanks for such an enjoyable waste of time. I can't imagine what else I would have spent my spare time doing from 1979 - 19XX. I look forward to seeing Jake and Lily's eyes light up when they role their first d20.

Field Trip

 

Kim and Tutu Kane (Grandpa Crozier) went with Lily on a field trip to the Waipahu Cultural Garden the other day.

Airborne

 

While Jake and I waited for Lily's hula performance to start, he jumped off rocks and I took pics. Enjoy.

Homemade airplane

 
Jake built a new airplane - he did the sharkmouth himself.

Soccer: Day 1

 
It's begun.
Jake's got cleats, socks, shin guards, a size 3 ball and a uniform. Let the skillz aquisition begin!

The keiki hula class

 

Lily's hula class, though by the look of Lil's feet she thinks she's at ballet.....

KUNG HEE FAT CHOI

 

Happy Year of the Rat! Jake and Lily have been banging drums and dressing up as lions for the better part of a month now. Not sure how many evil spirits they've chased away but they have banished many a quiet moment.

Car shopping with Jake

 

My mechanic said - "Dude, enough....your car is on it's way out. Get a new one"

Since he's all paid upon the boat and kid is through college, I guees he figured it was safe to turn off that revenue source.

Pretty much only considering the Honda Fit (above - which only looks big if you car shop with a 4 year old) and the Toyota Matrix.

The JAAF - Jacob Angus Air Force

Just how many toy airplanes does Jake have? Here's a good portion of them.....apologies to Benny Hill

Xmas in the OC

As promised my recap of our holiday trip to visit Uncle Bump in Orange County.

Sorry for the long entry, but we took a lot of pictures, and the kids were at their cutest, so it's hard to leave things out.

At this point I should recognize that a number of the readers of this blog have asked to see/hear/read more about the rest of the family. The Uncle Bump's and the Grandpa Gene's in particular.

There's a good reason that we don't see as much of those guys: Jake and Lily are far cuter than they are. Honestly, I can't remember the last time (if ever) somebody saw a picture of Coley and said "Awwww. That's adorable".

And when I tell stories about Gene if they say "Wow. He's at a great age" it's probably referring to quantity not quality.

Uncle Bump's (aka Coley, aka Hermano) kids on the other hand, Riley Logan and Katie Chase, ages 3 and 1 respectively - definitely cuter AND are at greater (quality) ages then their dad and grandpa.

But give the people what they want I say. I'll throw in a few pictures and words of the oldsters.

Uncle Bump and Auntie Amanda hosted us for more than two weeks while we did little day trips and lounged in their ginormous house. Good thing it was big since they were hosting 14 for breakfast lunch and dinner everynight.



We arrived at John Wayne direct from Honolulu (highly recommended) Xmas eve afternoon, so the kids didn't have long to wait till that BEST OF ALL MORNINGS.



Grandpa Gene's early present this year was retiring after fourty bazillion years of listening to people kvetch about their goddamn problems, how their wife/husband/kids/boss/dog doesn't appreciate them and yadayadayada and on and on and on....criminy. SHUT UP ALREADY ! Now he can finally do what he's always wanted.

Birdhouses:



Orange County has great public parks. Period. It's nice that the kids are still at the ages where a trip to the park is (almost) as good a one to a theme park. Fast slides, high swings, zip cords, soft places to fall, plenty of fun physical activity things to move/push/pull/climb and all.

Of course, maximum capacity still means something.


The kids got their first taste (literally natch) of snow:


Also their first trip to a themepark - Legoland:


Our second trip to the Aquarium of the Pacific, where ironically we probably had the most fun in the lorikeet aviary:


Jake, Coley, Riley and I wen tup to Chino to the Planes of Fame Aviation Museum.

Awesome. It was P-40 day and we got to see them start up a genuine Sharkmouth and then taxi and take off. Way cool. Jake wants to be there for P-38 day, and I want a returm visit when a Spitfire flies.

I threw in a picture of a P-38 that I made for Uncle Jim as a Christmas present. Compared with the real thing I did a pretty good job IMHO.

Another return visit for us was a little petting zoo just down the road from Uncle Bump's in San Juan Capistrano. And afterwards, just like two three years ago, we went to the Ruby's and had MASSIVE burgers in a cool train themed restaurant.




Speaking of food, Kim and I managed to sneak in two trips to In-and-Out Burger. Heaven.

And Lily and Jake got to have their best New Year's Eve evar when we took them out to the movies. Saw "Enchanted" which really was great. Good, clean, silly, wholesome fun (I'll rave later about "No Country for Old Men" and "There Will Be Blood" - also quite good, though not as wholesome).

Couple more fun/cute pics to round it out:

Just a great vacation. U. Bump, A. Bandit, Riley Logan and Katie Chase were great hosts and forgave us (I hope) for all the chaotic craziness that upset and challenged their family's balance/sleep schedules/eating habits/sharing abilities and other things I'm too obtuse not to apologize for.

In front of a Legoland version of my birthplace

quilt inspirations

For christmas I got Amy Butler's Midwest Modern book. After Kaffe Fasset, she is my inspiration for quilting. Her fabric designs simply make me smile and gets me excited to make more baby blankets. And it's a good thing too because I have a list of friends and family members who are pleasantly expecting in 2008. Most of the time I do simple 4 block patterns which is why I depend so heavily on the beauty of the fabric designs to carry the gift. To Amy and Kaffe whom I've never met, thank you and your team for providing me with great material.

Oh and of course the photos of her design studio just makes me drool. I can't wait to get my act together and actually go to town with my sewing space in the basement. My dream life would be to have an inspiring sewing space with great light and music and I could wake up and put on jeans and make blankets with Lily and Jacob for hours. And of course go to the beach to teach them how to surf and go to hula and pick flowers and make lei. Ah...I love it when a good book gets the juices flowing.

****By Kim of course

Catching up

Wow it's been a while. A busy couple of months. I took a new position at the Museum and spent most of November freaking out about it before the job began the first week of December. One of our exhibit designers left to join an exhibit design company in Vancouver and the head of the department asked if I was interested.....just means more:

• meetings


• schedules


• management


• stress


• budgeting


• emails

What it does NOT mean is (this being the Bishop Museum) more money. Sigh. Good thing I like working there.

So now instead of just helping on on pieces of exhibits like DVD's or computer interactives, I'll be in charge of planning the whole shebang. Carpet, painting, electrical, carpentry....kinda daunting but there's a very supportive and committed team down there.


Right around Thanksgiving we took our traditional surfing photo for the seasons greetings cards. Took plenny pictures of the kids playing about in the surf and it was hard to pick which one would be the winner. Here's a couple of the rejects. If you didn't get a seasons greetings card, it's probably because we don't have a real street address for you. If your refrigerator needs something to stick to it next winter, email us with your snail mail address and we'll add it to the Master List. We won't sell your information to anybody. We'll give it for free. Not really.

Lily's kept on doing keiki hula, and while Kim occasionally has to drag her to practice, when she performs she has a great time. I'll be getting a dose of that myself soon.

Next month Jake begins soccer with Keola, Alika, and Calvin. So there goes my Saturday mornings for the next fourteen years or so.



The kids came by the museum one time last month and got to help Uncle Dano prep the pili grass that will be used to reconstruct the hale that was disassembled last year during the Hawaiian Hall renovations. Some of the posts that came out may have been in use in houses on Kaua‘i since the late 1700's. The materials were moved to Honolulu in 1905 or so (IIRC) and the house stood until we took it down (Lily and Jake helped in that too). Took it down very carefully I should say. Anyway, in the next few months Dano will be leading the team that will reassbmle the hale using as much of the materials as possible, and gathering new materials as needed.

My proud accomplishment in early December was to rebuild our embarrassingly ugly/lame/rotten front gate. When we moved in 6 years ago now (YIKES) it was held together by paint and baling wire and had only degraded since then. So I finally got up the nerve to plan, paint, cut, construct, and all that good stuff. And best of all it actually works! I might get over my phobia of home improvement - I always have a sinking feeling that I've gonna do something stoopid and screw up more than fix things, but the gate's still working so I'm considering new projects. Hmmm.....new roof?



I'm especially proud of the Batman latch pull.

Next update I'll recap our great trip to Uncle Bump's house in the OC. Still working on compiling the list of things we did...long list....great pics and fun trip. Stay tuned.

Halloween & the Carhole of Scariness, Mk. III

Lily and Jake scored make up for Halloween from Grandpa Gene. So much for the Word Girl plan, but they had a great time. Lily exercised extreme self control by waiting until the 31st to stick on the snake tattoos - we went to two different parties before that and I'm sure she was dying to bust them out, but she held on till the big day. They're still on three days after and don't seem to be worse for wear.

Jake was Spiderman, reprising his role of two Halloween's ago, but this time he used makeup for the mask, which I think is pretty cool . While the kids costumes weren;t the most original or creative ever, they loved them, so thanks Grampa for the supplies.

We spent more energy quite honestly on the

Best...Carhole....Ever.....


Everybody got involved in the setup.

We worked overtime on the CHoS this year and tried for some tricky special effects - a Pepper's Ghost and a Bottomless Pit/Hellhole were the highpoints. Take a look at Dave and my post scare wrapup walkthrough of the CHoS below.

Here's a work in progress picture of our Pepper's Ghost: we call her Lisa.





And here's still more pics from the Lemmonds'



Best...Carhole....Ever.....till Friday (<----!!!!) October 31, 2008.